Graffiti Burger - Grandview Heights

John, Jerry and I ventured out into the frigid Ohio weather to start our journey for the best burger in Columbus. We are starting our journey at the much-talked-about Graffiti Burger in Grandview Heights. Upon entering Graffiti Burger, I wondered if we accidentally stumbled into a laser tag party. There is neon paint splashed all over the walls, a bunch of kids with orange soda mustaches and tween bop music. Then, you get hit with the awesome aroma of their burgers and you realize that you are, in deed, at the famed Graffiti Burger.

At Graffiti, you order at the counter, pick a table and wait for your name to be called that your order is ready. The order line was surprisingly efficient during a busy lunch rush hour. We also easily found a clean table. Despite the barrage of kids in the joint, it was surprisingly spotless. Beverages are self-serve fountain and a limited selection of beer is available by the bottle. The prices were fair. I ordered “The Graffiti Burger,” a small fry and a small soda. The total including tax was $8.83. Burgers range in price from $3.99 to $4.99 with premium topping options, such as applewood smoked bacon, crumbled bleu cheese and roasted red peppers, for and additional $1 each.

We rated the burger on a 5-point scale. With 1 being the least favorable rating and 5 being the best.

The Patty: I tasted the patty alone before I dived into a bite of the burger. The patty was surprisingly full of awesome flavor. You could put the patty on a plate alone and eat it; it was that good. They clearly put some type of seasoning in the burger meat (best guess: A1 sauce), and the patties appear to be hand-pressed, not pre-made in a factory. The menu proclaims that Graffiti uses 100% fresh ground premium Angus beef, but McDonald's now boasts Angus beef, too, so in a sense Angus' perception of quality has been downgraded. The sign out front and the menu proudly proclaim that the patties are “never frozen.” Good. Good. Despite all of this, there was no evidence to support that the meat is locally sourced. Also, the burgers were not made-to-order. That is, there wasn’t an option for how you wanted your patty cooked. Nevertheless, bottom line: the burger meat was juicy and flavorful, although for me, it was a little too greasy. John and Jerry disagreed with me on the grease factor. Score: 3.5

The Toppings: I always think that the pickle is a good indicator of a good burger. The pickle served alongside my burger did not limp when I held it up from the end, a good signal of crispness. The pickle was crunchy, but way too salty and lacking a good depth of flavor. The cole slaw on top of my burger was crisp and rather sweet. The yellow pepper rings were also very sweet; lots of sweet toppings on this puppy. The cheese was fresh and full of flavor, and was perfectly melted. Score: 3 (too sweet of toppings, not enough savory toppings to balance it out)

The Bun: The bun was slightly toasted with a nice buttery taste. For me, the bun was actually the best part of the burger. However, towards the end of the meal my burger fell apart from the juice of the patty and the toppings. John and Jerry did not experience this problem. Maybe it had something to do with the time it took me to eat it. I was the last to finish in the group; it took me about 15 minutes to eat. Score: 4.5

Overall Burger Experience: Overall, John and Jerry really enjoyed this burger. Jerry (not surprisingly) finished his burger first and said it was a great burger for the price. John said, “I tasted different flavors with every bite. It was a well constructed burger that despite all of the toppings didn’t fall apart. I thought it was a pretty good burger.” I on the other hand, felt that my utility decreased with every bite. The first bite was bliss. I really enjoyed the melding of the different textures and flavors. However, the more I ate the more I disliked the burger. I only ate about half of it because my stomach felt really heavy with grease. In my opinion, the burger was well constructed, had some good intentions, but left my arteries feeling a bit too-clogged. Combining our three opinions, we rate this burger as good for the money, but certainly not the best. Overall Score: 3.67

Looking forward to next week's review of the Brazen Head burger!