The Old Bag of Nails Pub – Upper Arlington

Jerry and I were quite pleased when we walked into Old Bag of Nails. It was the first time either of us had been there. Think old-style pub with lots of character. Red leather bar stools and the rich wood bar brings one back to a simpler time. Although, it was odd walking into a pub like this and not seeing clouds of cigarette smoke (thank god for the smoking ban!). For a pub it’s surprisingly clean. We went to Old Bag of Nails when the sun was still up so we saw the place in full light and it was quite well-kept. Its unpretentious atmosphere immediately put us at ease, as did the ZZ Top playing overhead. Jerry said, “This is my kind of place.”

Old Bag of Nails has six burgers on their menu. I picked the Gaylord Burger since I am a fan of hickory barbeque sauce and bacon. Jerry ordered the Rustic Burger, which is topped with blue cheese and bacon, one of Jerry’s favorite flavor combos. He orders the Wendy’s Bacon and Blue at least once a week. Following is our assessment of the Old Bag of Nails burger. John was stuck at work so he couldn’t join us, but he’s had the Old Bag of Nails burger a lot (whereas Jerry and I were first-times) so John’s assessment is included in our “overall burger” score.

The Patty: The patties were cooked to order, always a good sign that the restaurant cares about its burgers. When served, it was the perfect temperature. Not too hot and not too cold – it was just right, providing for a pleasant, meaty texture. This patty did not have as strong of a grill flavor as the Brazenhead burger, but it had a subtle charred taste to it. Quite simply, this patty actually embraced the flavor of the quality meat. Jerry stated the obvious: “It tastes like a burger.” A lot of the other burger joints we had visited were adding so much flavoring and spice to the patty that you really couldn’t taste the flavor of the meat, so we appreciated actually getting to taste quality hamburger meat at Old Bag of Nails. Score: 4

The Toppings: The toppings were good. Jerry’s burger was topped with crispy onion straws, which he really enjoyed. I liked the apparent freshness of the basic toppings. Two big slices of deep red tomatoes were served on the side of the burger along with some red onions and a leaf of crisp, deep green lettuce. Jerry and I both had bacon on our burgers. The flavor of the bacon was phenomenal and it was nice and thick. However, we encountered some “stringiness” with the bacon fat, which at times made it difficult to eat the burger. Jerry downgraded his topping score as a result of the stringy bacon. On the other hand, I didn’t let the bacon decrease my topping score. After all, bacon is just a fatty piece of pork belly. Score: 3.75

The Bun: The bun on this baby was a regular, fresh brioche bun. It was simple and to the point. It did not have sesame seeds on it. The bun held up well throughout the course of the meal. It was buttery and delicious, but nothing memorable. Score: 3.5

Overall Burger Experience: Overall, we loved this burger. All of the flavors melded well together, and they kept it simple. The burger wasn’t too big – it was the perfect size meal. Jerry and I ate our burgers without ketchup. No mayo or mustard was needed. It was good and juicy as served. At $8.99 a piece these burgers were priced close to that of the Brazenhead burger and the quality and flavor was comparable. Overall Score: 3.75

Bonus Burger: Thurman Cafe – German Village

I recently broke away from John and Jerry to spend time with two wonderful Chileans who are visiting Columbus from Santiago. I took my dear friends Carlitos and Carlos Browne to Thurman’s in German Village. I had a Thurman burger for the first time this past spring, but I don’t remember the experience all that well because I was two days deep into a breakup and was wallowing in my sorrow. This time, I was quite excited to really try the Thurman burger, which is truly the talk of the town.

When we arrived at Thurman’s we had to wait in this cramped room with about 50 people. The waiting area looked larger than the actual “dining room”. I put that in quotes because the dining room is just a few tables and booths that surround the bar. We waited for well over an hour before our name was called. In fact, the whole Thurman experience for us was this ridiculous waiting game. Once we were seated we waited an eternity for our waiter. Then, we waited a long time for our burgers. Then, we waited forever for our check (our waiter literally disappeared) so we had to ask the bartender for it. All in all, we arrived at Thurman’s at 1 p.m. and left at 4:30 p.m. I can understand a meal lasting that long if you are enjoying exquisite French fare, but for a burger, come on! As we were walking out the door Carlos said, “I don’t think that I have ever waited this much.”

So, was the burger worth the wait? Here’s our assessment:

The Patty: Our waiter told us that the meat for the Thurman patties ships in fresh everyday, even on Sundays. The patty alone was tasty, but it did not appear to be grilled over a flame (that is, there was no grill flavor present, just seasoning flavor). Best guess for the seasoning: Worcestershire sauce. Talk of the patty sparked a discussion of the quality of Argentinean meat. As such, these Chileans have a high bar set for them in terms of beef quality. Collectively, we thought the burger meat on this patty was “good, but not great.” Score: 3.5

The Toppings: I ordered the Thurman Burger, which had way too much going on. The burger itself relies on a disproportionate amount of toppings for flavor. There was ham and cheese smothered all over my burger. There were so many toppings that I hardly knew what I was eating as they all mushed together. My friend Jorge who joined us later in the waiting game ordered a burger that came with a ½ pound of cheese. Thurman’s toppings are overwhelming and truly distract from the flavor of the meat. Score: 2.25

The Bun: The bun was good. It held up relatively well to the mound of toppings. Carlos’ bun was actually two pieces of grilled Texas Toast. Score: 3

Overall Burger Experience: Sorry all you Columbusites who are fans of Thurman’s, but this burger just didn’t do it for us. It wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t anything special and certainly not worth the wait. Jorge said, “I liked it, but I have had better.” Carlos said, “I liked it, but it’s not in my upper rank.” I was relatively unsatisfied with Thurman’s. Given all the hype, it was an anti-climatic experience for sure. The aftermath of the Thurman burger was what sealed the deal for me about ever coming back to the place. About two hours after eating the Thurman burger, lets just say that I Thurman-ated. This involved some unpleasant time, bringing my total score way down. Overall Score: 2

Brazenhead - Grandview

Last week, as I was walking with a friend into the doors of Brazenhead on 5th Avenue a huge chunk of icy snow the size of Texas fell off the roof, missing my head by a hair, literally. This close-to-tragic event didn’t stop me from reviewing the Brazenhead burger with John and Jerry, although I did closely eyeball the roof for falling ice bricks before walking through the door.

Brazenhead is “seat yourself”, which is kind of a pain when it’s crowded (which it always is). This means that you have to wander around the two-story establishment for a table, pushing past people crowded around the bar. The atmosphere is loud and the service is slow, but the food really makes up for it.

We had 5 burger options, all of them classic burgers with a unique twist. I ordered the Schlow Burger (horseradish sauce and crispy onion topping). John got the Blackened Burger (with Siracha sauce) and Jerry ordered the Peppercorn Burger. For around $8 each, the burgers are served with chips and their signature Tabasco coleslaw. Ask for the garlic dipping sauce if you go. It’s amazing, and dare I say life-changing. Following is our assessment of the Brazenhead burger experience (5-point scale).

The Patty: Upon receiving his burger, Jerry lifted up the bun to reveal grill marks, and we all salivated at the thought that these burgers were cooked just right. Then we bit into them. The patty had a remarkable grill flavor and was nicely charred in all the right spots. The patty on this baby came right off the grill. The smoky, just-grilled-flavor brings back memories of summertime, a satisfying comfort when several feet of snow awaits you outside the doors. The patty comes made-to-order and no seasoning is necessary to flavor it. This patty relies solely on good quality meat and the grill for its flavor. Score: 4

The Toppings: No side spear here, but several small pickle slices were served on the side along with traditional toppings, including lettuce, tomato and red onion. The lettuce was perfect, nice, deep green; no iceberg lettuce on this burger. The onions and tomatoes were fresh, bright and flavorful. John and I loved the toppings. John said, “The toppings really compliment the burger patty and they don’t overwhelm it like a lot of the other burgers we have seen.” Jerry had a dissenting opinion on the toppings. He said, “I wasn’t really all that impressed with the toppings. I got one pickle slice that was about the size of a thumb tack. That was ridiculous. In fact, I got ripped off big time on the pickle, which makes me downgrade my topping rating.” He also commented that:”The sauce was only spread on half the bun. Someone did not take care to ensure that I got even distribution of sauces on my burger.” Score: 3.58

The Bun: When flipped over, you see that this bun was toasted ‘till golden. It’s a fresh buttery, sesame seed bun. The thing that I like most about this bun is that it didn’t just have a symbolic sprinkle of seeds on top. No, no. It had a generous covering of sesame seeds, some which even spilled over to the bottom half of the bun. I believe that is safe to say that these buns are not mass manufactured. John said that the bun is, “sturdy and holds up well.” Score: 3.75

Overall Burger Experience: I usually drown my burgers in ketchup. However, I did not want to jeopardize this wonderfully pure, damn good burger experience by disguising it with a high fructose corn syrup and concentrated tomato “sauce”. You can tell that a lot of care and thought has gone into constructing this burger. John said, “The Brazenhead burger is not elaborate. It is just a good, overall basic burger with a lovely twist.” He went on to say, “It is the first real burger we had. It’s not trying to do too much, they just keep it simple and it is not relying on a sauce for the flavor.” Jerry chimed in with: “In sum, it is a restaurant-quality burger that gets the job done.” Overall Score: 3.78

Bonus Burger: Five Guys – Grandview

Before we launched our blog, John, Jerry and I agreed on an informal set of rules. One of which included, “keeping it local.” In other words: no chains. However, after hearing that there was some awesome debate amongst the owner of Graffiti Burger and the owner of the recently opened Five Guys in Grandview over whose burger is better, we felt that we just had to do a comparison. So, please excuse our brief break from our rules as we take a closer look at the Five Guys’ burger while the Graffiti burger is still fresh in our minds. So, let’s get to it (again we rate on a 5-point scale).

The Patty: We unanimously agreed that the Five Guys’ burger patty did not even compare to the Graffiti burger. The Five Guys patty alone lacked flavor and juiciness. Jerry observed, “Five Guys’ burger patty is very dependent on the cheese for flavor.” Score: 2

The Toppings: Five Guys’ hickory flavored BBQ sauce was pretty awesome. However, the tomatoes were flimsy and had a “plastic-y” taste to them. That is, they tasted like the plastic container they had probably sat in. The sautéed mushrooms had absolutely no flavor to them, but the sautéed onions were quite good. The bright orange American cheese on the Five Guys burger was pretty awesome; it had the perfect melt. Not too melted, but also not, not melted, it was just right. The pickles were ok, but nothing to write home about. While Graffiti Burger served a slice of pickle on the side, a major plus in my book, Five Guys just served slices of pickles on the burger. No side pickle and a lack of flavorful mushrooms brings the topping rating down. Score: 2.5

The Bun: Five Guys’ burgers are served on a sesame seed bun, which I love. Despite the fact that we ordered the burgers for take-out and they were loaded with toppings, the buns were dry when we got home. No soggy buns here! Jerry said, “The bun seemed treated, like it had a coating on it to keep it together. It seemed unnaturally resistant to sog.” However, given Five Guys’ façade of being a more “natural” burger, I am not sure his assessment is true, but it is after all a chain, so it could very well be treated with some fantastic “naturally-derived” (ha!) preservative. Score: 3

Overall Burger Experience: Jerry (the guy who thinks that frozen corn dogs are God’s culinary gift to the world) was not impressed with Five Guys. He said, “I like Graffiti Burger better. The total package at Five Guys is not nearly as flavorful. The patty does not taste seasoned. But, don’t get me wrong Five Guys is a good burger, but Graffiti Burger was just more flavorful.” In a very much appreciated effort to be witty, Jerry said, “I had a cornucopia of burger bliss in my mouth when I bit into the Graffiti Burger. I did not experience this bliss with Five Guys.” Despite my complaints that Graffiti Burger was too greasy, I am going to have to agree with Jerry. The Graffiti Burger overall was much more flavorful and of higher quality than Five Guys. Also, Graffiti Burger has slightly lower prices than Five Guys. So, Graffiti Burger is the clear value winner here. Overall Score: 2.5

Now, I have to mention that John was missing from our tasting. He was busy throwing back a few beers at the local watering hole. However, he did join us for the tasting a little later. Jerry and I didn’t tell John what we thought of the burger; we didn’t want to influence his opinion. John ended up having the exact opposite opinion than Jerry and I. This could potentially be contributed to the buzz-effect. After all, after a few beers Taco Bell is “good food.” In between a big bite, John said, “The patties are firm and delicious.” He did however note, “The actual flavor of the patty was better at Graffiti Burger.” Overall, John said that he was “very pleased – very impressed with Five Guys – that was a solid burger!”

As a reminder, we are only rating burgers until May 8. So, if you have any suggestions for us about a burger that we should consider for our quest to “find the best burger in Columbus” let us know!

Graffiti Burger - Grandview Heights

John, Jerry and I ventured out into the frigid Ohio weather to start our journey for the best burger in Columbus. We are starting our journey at the much-talked-about Graffiti Burger in Grandview Heights. Upon entering Graffiti Burger, I wondered if we accidentally stumbled into a laser tag party. There is neon paint splashed all over the walls, a bunch of kids with orange soda mustaches and tween bop music. Then, you get hit with the awesome aroma of their burgers and you realize that you are, in deed, at the famed Graffiti Burger.

At Graffiti, you order at the counter, pick a table and wait for your name to be called that your order is ready. The order line was surprisingly efficient during a busy lunch rush hour. We also easily found a clean table. Despite the barrage of kids in the joint, it was surprisingly spotless. Beverages are self-serve fountain and a limited selection of beer is available by the bottle. The prices were fair. I ordered “The Graffiti Burger,” a small fry and a small soda. The total including tax was $8.83. Burgers range in price from $3.99 to $4.99 with premium topping options, such as applewood smoked bacon, crumbled bleu cheese and roasted red peppers, for and additional $1 each.

We rated the burger on a 5-point scale. With 1 being the least favorable rating and 5 being the best.

The Patty: I tasted the patty alone before I dived into a bite of the burger. The patty was surprisingly full of awesome flavor. You could put the patty on a plate alone and eat it; it was that good. They clearly put some type of seasoning in the burger meat (best guess: A1 sauce), and the patties appear to be hand-pressed, not pre-made in a factory. The menu proclaims that Graffiti uses 100% fresh ground premium Angus beef, but McDonald's now boasts Angus beef, too, so in a sense Angus' perception of quality has been downgraded. The sign out front and the menu proudly proclaim that the patties are “never frozen.” Good. Good. Despite all of this, there was no evidence to support that the meat is locally sourced. Also, the burgers were not made-to-order. That is, there wasn’t an option for how you wanted your patty cooked. Nevertheless, bottom line: the burger meat was juicy and flavorful, although for me, it was a little too greasy. John and Jerry disagreed with me on the grease factor. Score: 3.5

The Toppings: I always think that the pickle is a good indicator of a good burger. The pickle served alongside my burger did not limp when I held it up from the end, a good signal of crispness. The pickle was crunchy, but way too salty and lacking a good depth of flavor. The cole slaw on top of my burger was crisp and rather sweet. The yellow pepper rings were also very sweet; lots of sweet toppings on this puppy. The cheese was fresh and full of flavor, and was perfectly melted. Score: 3 (too sweet of toppings, not enough savory toppings to balance it out)

The Bun: The bun was slightly toasted with a nice buttery taste. For me, the bun was actually the best part of the burger. However, towards the end of the meal my burger fell apart from the juice of the patty and the toppings. John and Jerry did not experience this problem. Maybe it had something to do with the time it took me to eat it. I was the last to finish in the group; it took me about 15 minutes to eat. Score: 4.5

Overall Burger Experience: Overall, John and Jerry really enjoyed this burger. Jerry (not surprisingly) finished his burger first and said it was a great burger for the price. John said, “I tasted different flavors with every bite. It was a well constructed burger that despite all of the toppings didn’t fall apart. I thought it was a pretty good burger.” I on the other hand, felt that my utility decreased with every bite. The first bite was bliss. I really enjoyed the melding of the different textures and flavors. However, the more I ate the more I disliked the burger. I only ate about half of it because my stomach felt really heavy with grease. In my opinion, the burger was well constructed, had some good intentions, but left my arteries feeling a bit too-clogged. Combining our three opinions, we rate this burger as good for the money, but certainly not the best. Overall Score: 3.67

Looking forward to next week's review of the Brazen Head burger!

Firing up the grill

Hello Blogosphere and Burger Fanatics! I am thrilled to announce the introduction of The Burger Blog. Each week, a group of three Columbus-ites will visit a local burger joint and review it on this site. We are in search for the Best Burger in Columbus. We were inspired to take on this mission after reading a recent article in Columbus ALive! that rated the best burgers in the city. We are hoping to build on and expand this list.

Now, for starters, you are probably thinking "what does this burger lady mean by "we"?" Well, it's actually three of us that are venturing out on the review process: my friends Jerry and John. We all agree that this is the perfect pairing for burger reviews since we all have varying levels of culinary expertise. Jerry falls to the left of the curve. That is, he is a manly, man. He isn't very hard to please in terms of food. Put a plate in front of his face and he'll eat it and be satisfied. John falls somewhere in the middle. He appreciates a good piece of meat. That is, he likes his woman and he likes a good meal. He is however a single, forty something-year-old male so he can't possibly be all that particular about his food.

At the far right of the spectrum (opposite of Jerry) lies me, Amanda. I consider myself a well-informed foodie. I worked in food marketing for some years with some of the best chefs in the country. I also have a culinary degree of sorts from L'Academie de Cuisine in Bethesda, Maryland. I am – and have always been – particular about my food. All that said you see that three of us will make a good rating system for the average Joe looking for a good burger. With this blog, you will get an average Joe's perspective blended with a dash of culinary expertise.

So, before we get started John, Jerry and I agreed on the following 4 factors by which to rate our burger tasting:

1) Quality of the patty (grass-fed, previously frozen, size, etc.)
2) Quality of the toppings (freshness, variety, pickles, etc.)
3) The bun (flavor, freshness, texture, sesame seed, brioche, etc.)
4) Overall burger-eating experience (overall combination of flavors and textures)

I hope you all find this a helpful place to find the most accurate and objective source of all things Burger in Columbus! Enjoy!